Tag Archive: self-help

When most of us think of abusive relationships, we generally think of a man hitting a woman. Let’s say a couple gets into a huge fight and the boyfriend completely flips out, throws objects, punches walls, and hits his girlfriend.

Well you know what? That’s pretty cliche. Yeah, I said it. It’s the stereotypical abusive relationship with the dominant man belittling the woman in hopes of her bowing down to him while he stands tall with power and control in his hands.

I guarantee that you or someone you know has been a victim of an abusive relationship. I say this because abuse is not just physical. Abuse is constructed my humiliation, manipulation, and control. 

As most of my readers know, I am in my early twenties. I deal with so much talk about relationships it’s almost overwhelming, and I’ve heard incredible stories about fights and disputes that still shock me to this day. I always ask the people that express their concern about their relationships with me, “why haven’t you left yet?” Their responses tend to be somewhere along the lines of the other person being wrapped around their finger.

When most people hear about these relationships they think they’re just plain stupid.

Sometimes they are.

But when a person has the ability to manipulate someone to the point of abuse, it’s not stupidity, it’s control. If a person can cut down the dignity of their boyfriend or girlfriend so they have the pleasure of this animalistic, king of the jungle behavior, sometimes there’s no turning back.

Victims catch the bait. They’re reeled in, and eaten alive while everyone else can watch the humiliation and torment. How disgusting.

We need to stop this abuse. We need to spread the word about what abuse really is, and to tell people that this isn’t a way to live. To all victims of abuse: you can get out and you will. Understand that it is never okay to be isolated by a relationship. It is never okay to feel the emotional stress, possessiveness, and intimidation. Never act a certain way to please others. All that matters is that you are happy. No one can judge your happiness other than yourself.


[Learn more about abuse by visiting http://www.loveisrespect.org. There are live chats 24/7 as well as a hotline 866-331-9474.]


I found a new website today. It’s called Compassion Pit. Visit it! http://www.compassionpit.com

Their motto is “Get it off your chest without it biting you in the ass!”




This site was created in 2010 by Zach Burt who wanted a way to vent about things without it weighing him down with the fear of it being used against him in the future. I think it’s a really interesting concept that can help thousands of people.

So I tried this out. I went to the home page and chose between “listening” or “venting.” I chose listening. The site set me up with  an anonymous user that wanted to vent to me. I didn’t really know how to begin the conversation; I didn’t even know who I was talking to! So I just said, “how are you?.” The venter’s response was, “ugh, bad.” After asking for more details the venter expressed his feelings toward his girlfriend. He said that he doesn’t love her anymore, but he felt like he couldn’t break up with her because she has a low self-esteem. I gave him my two cents, and some suggestions on how to handle the sticky situation. I’ve had my fair share of relationships so he appreciated my advice and ability to relate.

I never got his name- don’t even know where he’s from. I didn’t ask, and I didn’t really care, but it felt good to help someone out.

I spent over an hour on this site last night listening to venters communicate their life’s issues with me. I listened to a rape victim, a closet homosexual, and a woman deciding between abortion or adoption.

I think this site is incredible. I gained a great deal of satisfaction by helping people with my words. Although I don’t really have anything that I need to anonymously vent about, I will continue to listen to people who simply need someone to talk to. Whether it’s needing consultation about girlfriend issues, or advice on how to cope with sexual assault, Compassion Pit will be there to help anyone; listener or venter.