Tag Archive: relationships


When most of us think of abusive relationships, we generally think of a man hitting a woman. Let’s say a couple gets into a huge fight and the boyfriend completely flips out, throws objects, punches walls, and hits his girlfriend.

Well you know what? That’s pretty cliche. Yeah, I said it. It’s the stereotypical abusive relationship with the dominant man belittling the woman in hopes of her bowing down to him while he stands tall with power and control in his hands.

I guarantee that you or someone you know has been a victim of an abusive relationship. I say this because abuse is not just physical. Abuse is constructed my humiliation, manipulation, and control. 

As most of my readers know, I am in my early twenties. I deal with so much talk about relationships it’s almost overwhelming, and I’ve heard incredible stories about fights and disputes that still shock me to this day. I always ask the people that express their concern about their relationships with me, “why haven’t you left yet?” Their responses tend to be somewhere along the lines of the other person being wrapped around their finger.

When most people hear about these relationships they think they’re just plain stupid.

Sometimes they are.

But when a person has the ability to manipulate someone to the point of abuse, it’s not stupidity, it’s control. If a person can cut down the dignity of their boyfriend or girlfriend so they have the pleasure of this animalistic, king of the jungle behavior, sometimes there’s no turning back.

Victims catch the bait. They’re reeled in, and eaten alive while everyone else can watch the humiliation and torment. How disgusting.

We need to stop this abuse. We need to spread the word about what abuse really is, and to tell people that this isn’t a way to live. To all victims of abuse: you can get out and you will. Understand that it is never okay to be isolated by a relationship. It is never okay to feel the emotional stress, possessiveness, and intimidation. Never act a certain way to please others. All that matters is that you are happy. No one can judge your happiness other than yourself.

 

[Learn more about abuse by visiting http://www.loveisrespect.org. There are live chats 24/7 as well as a hotline 866-331-9474.]

Millions of people (mostly women) are swooning over Pinterest. If you have never visited this site, Pinterest is best described as a virtual pin-board where users find photos and videos on the site and “repin” them to be on their “boards.” There is a wide variety of pins for people to see; from fashion, art, home decor, weddings, and beauty.

A screen shot of a user's home page Pinterest. (Source: http://www.ladyandtheblog.com)

I have been an avid Pinterest user for about 5 months, but I have problems with it. Big problems.

Pinterest does not have pins for real people. Being in my early 20s, I have some really big dreams. I yearn for the day to marry prince charming, start my own family, own my own house, and have as much jewelry and clothes as I can fit in my warehouse-sized closet. I am not the only one my age who would love to have all of these things some time in my life, but Pinterest gives women my age a whole lot of pressure.

This site makes me feel like life isn’t as great with love handles and a small choice of pumps. I’ve spent way too much time oodling over pictures of “perfect bodies” which have almost convinced me that my assets just aren’t up to par. Almost. 🙂

Comparing life to the mansions seen in the southern Hamptons, and the designer clothes models are wearing can really take a toll on women.

Such a small percentage of people will be able to afford such a wedding. Why do weddings have to be such a huge deal? Why is long hair all the rage when short hair is just as beautiful? I don’t understand why a site like this is so popular when it’s so hard to relate to. Maybe it’s the jealousy that women are so attracted to.

What’s the deal with all of these women pinning dainty recipes and nifty tricks for cleaning the house? I think it’s complete bull that gender roles are reaching back into our society. Relationships are very different today than they were when Mrs. Clever was around, thank goodness. We love our stay-at-home dads and same-sex marriages. We can’t get enough of our CEO moms and famous cake baking dad’s, right? We have come so far from gender inequality, why are we going backwards again?

 

 

 

 

 

I am putting Pinterest in the dog house until further notice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The challenge of 650

I’m at the age where tattoos and piercings are a popular way of expressing oneself. Some more than others.

I think having something permanently inked on your body for your entire life means that it should represent something powerful, something emblematic… It should be a symbolize a part of your character that no one else has.

Here is where I’m going with this.

I grew up in the same house my whole life (minus the few years I was with my mom). Just like every family, we have our problems and sometimes we go our separate ways for a while. When it all comes down to it, my dad and 3 sisters will always be there for each other.

With that being said, no matter what happens, all 5 of us always end up back in our original place- 650. It’s our address, and it means more to me than anything else. It’s my home. I spent my first night of life there. I ran around the hallways stomping my little feet and wrestled on the carpets with my sisters. I learned how to ride my bike on that driveway, and played catch in my front yard. We’ve built some killer snow forts, and created some awesome chalk drawings!

These are my sissies on our front yard of 650. Taken in 2008

Of course there were times of sorrow, but these are memories that only my family can relate to. No matter how hard I try to explain what it’s like to be a part of my family, no one could ever understand.

(Okay, Dad. Stop reading!)

I know you'll still love me! Kind of like that time when I got my nose pierced and pretended it wasn't real!

Which is why I want to get a tattoo that says 650. It is incredibly meaningful; enough to be permanently drawn onto my skin. It’s a beautiful symbol that represents my life better than anything else could. It illustrates the good, the bad, and the ohso-ugly. It explains who I am today better than I could ever describe.

I love my family! No matter what, we'll always wind up together.

And even though no one will ever be able to successfully comprehend what my life has been like, they will be able to understand that 650 is where I belong, with my family, at home. It’s where I am always welcome, and I always will be.